Saturday, June 29, 2013

It owns us

Sometimes when we move to a special place we love it so much that we never want to leave it. In this we develop deep feelings regarding our little home place; which creates an attachment.

We become attached thinking that we “own” the thing but really, it is owning us. When we leave the place our feelings are profound. we become sad and develop homesickness. Which is a kind of dreamy separation anxiety about wanting to return home once again.

When we are in this situation we can’t see the joy or good in moving on or moving forward with our lives. When we move against the flow disorder and chaos prevail. I have seen this arise within myself four times in my life. And I think the great wheel is spinning again.

I feed the wildlife here in the winter time but I don’t “own” them. Hunters remind of this again and again every year.

I care for this place but I don’t “own” it. And sometimes I view it with a critical eye because I am angry at the outcome of broken dreams that never materialized for myself from the life I have made here.

I didn’t make the tough decisions, they were made for me by others and I simply went along with them. This never works out for those involved. Nobody should take a backseat in their own life. One should never give another control over their life.

Lost Dreams of a failed relationship. Lost dreams of growing old with friends. Lost dreams of completion and of finishing things I started.

I have accompished some of my life goals, but with not one single ounce of help from anyone else. I have had to fight and struggle the whole way. Now I am at the point where I relax and let nature take its course. It is scary to build up enough courage to live freely.


Posted in Dreams, Mountain Creek Home, Wildlife Conservation, Wishes |  , |


 

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